The Talk - Brittney's Story

I was a friend's birthday. Being in elementary school, she wanted to invite all her friends (which was everyone in the class). I knew she had a big house and an awesome backyard, and I could not wait to go to her birthday party. I begged my mom to go. With hesitation, she said yes. We get there and 30 minutes go by. My mom comes to grab me, telling me we need to leave. She's angry, and I'm not sure why. In the car, she tells me how my classmate's parents did not want me to come and that I can't be friends with her.

I had my first conversation with my mother on racism and the idea that someone would not like me because of my skin color.

I was four years old.

The older I got, the more frequent we had "the talk". Our conversations included things like:

- "How to avoid being stopped by the cops."

- "What to do just in case you are stopped..".

- "Do not go anywhere by yourself... "

- "We do not go over to XYZ's house... "

- "Stay close and don't touch anything in the store.."

- "We don't wear dark clothing outside at night."

- "Hands where they can see them or in the air.."

-"Say yes, sir, and no sir.."

- "Tell them about you immediately..who you are, how old you are, where you're from.."

- "Do not make sudden moves."

The point was clear. And even stated explicitly,

"Whatever you do, COME HOME ALIVE."

When I started driving, "the talk" expanded into more warnings & rules:

• "Don't drive at night.."

• "Don't stop in XYZ towns. Ever. Just pass through to the next one.."

• "If stopped, only pull over in a well lit and public area."

• "If stopped, keep your hands on the wheel at all times. Do not reach for anything."

• "Ask permission before getting your license out."

• "Leave your license and registration in the seat or your visor where you can easily reach it."

• "If you feel scared, call us immediately and put us on speaker."

Again, the point was clearly stated:

Whatever you do, WE NEED YOU ALIVE."

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The list continues.

Sometimes the racist experiences were overt, other times, they were more blatant.

I was passed up for jobs I was qualified for because on my paper, my name was racially ambiguous, but in person, I "wasn't a good fit."

Strangers would and still come up to feel my hair because it's "interesting."

My favorite is when people attempt to disguise a racist comment with a compliment. These compliments didn't actually compliment.

• "You are such an oreo."

• "You aren't REALLY black."

• You are pretty for a black girl."

• you are smart for a black girl."

• I like you, but I can't date black girls."

• "Is that your real hair? "

• "Not you; you're a different kind of black person.."

Because I have to make others feel comfortable by my existence, allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Brittney Johnson.

I am 26 years old.

My parents served in the United States Air Force.

My mother has a background in finance and education.

My father has a background in management.

I have a college degree.

I am a photographer, producer and video editor.

I regularly attend church.

I donate to charities/organizations every year.

I own two businesses.

I love to dance to any and every type of music.

I enjoy the arts and history.

I want to travel and see the world.

I am a simple human being.

I am not a threat.